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I know this is off topic… but you guys want us to be personal with you, right?

As I put in these images, I can not stop sobbing. (I’m actually wiping tears off my keyboard and the “D” is giving me a little trouble at the moment.) I do not share too much of my personal life but, to make this happen for my sister, I will share these private photos and share my grief with you all. I’m saying things I have not really shared with many people.

I am guilt stricken… it was my job to get his hospital bag and make sure it was free of anything that would be heartbreaking. I missed the onesie that said, “You Were Worth The Wait”. Carissa erupted in tears. Why didn’t I unroll that tiny suit?! Why….

I had 4 children, very young…. 3 while I was a teenager… 4 children by the time I was 22. I have these 4 beautiful children. I did everything the wrong way…..
She didn’t do anything wrong. She graduated at the top of her class, went to college, she’s a high school honors math teacher, got married to an amazing, kind talented man, they bought a house. Why is fate so cruel?

This photo below documents the only time I will ever hold my nephew.
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These are the only moments my sister and brother-in-law will ever spend with their son. They will never hear him cry all night long or change one of his a dirty diapers. They will never take him to the doctor, see him grow or change diaper sizes and they’ll never see that first sweet 6 week old smile. They put in all the work growing this beautiful little boy and will never watch him flourish and grow into a toddler, a child, an adolescent, a man.

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My sister and brother in law lost their first born child, at 39 weeks. In case you don’t know 40 weeks is considered the average amount of time babies spend growing in momma’s tummy. They can come as early as 37 weeks and as late as 42 and still be considered “due”.

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My nephew,Clark Michael Deneca, was stillborn this year, on May 23, 2011. I’m asking asking that you donate to Molly Bears at least $5 on his behalf. Molly Bears works by a a pay-it-forward way of thinking; they pick names submitted by donators and make them an angel bear (read more on how this process works here) so they can “hold” their lost little ones as they grieve.

If my sister, Carissa, was picked (because someone donated in her or Clark‘s name), they would make a weighted bear that matched Clark’s weight at birth, so they could “hold” him again. If you can donate, it would be so appreciated! The more times their names are in, the better her chances of being drawn are.

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Please make donations in the name of Clark Deneca and/or Carissa and Joe Deneca. I want my sister to get to snuggle “her baby” like I snuggled each of mine.

Please, if you would, retweet this with #ClarkDeneca as the hashtag and share this post on your facebook. Get the word out.

Donate here (in Paypal put Clark Deneca in the comment section) and LIKE Molly Bears on FaceBook and Follow Molly Bears, @MollyBearsOrg, on twitter, too!

21 COMMENTS

  1.  I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet nephew. My heart breaks for your sister and her husband. My son was born still on July 24, 2011. I am also a fan of molly bears and their mission. I will keep your sister and family in my prayers.

  2. I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet nephew. My heart breaks for your sister and her husband. My son was born still on July 24, 2011. I am also a fan of molly bears and their mission. I will keep your sister and family in my prayers.

  3. Thanks so much. My heart has been exceptionally heavy today. Feeling immense sorrow for them this holiday season.

  4. Thanks… I just want her pain to subside. I wanna make it all better.

  5. Done! My heart absolutely breaks for your sister and your family. I have to hope that they will be blessed in some way in the future. Hope she gets the bear!

  6. Done! My heart absolutely breaks for your sister and your family. I have to hope that they will be blessed in some way in the future. Hope she gets the bear!

  7. Thanks so much! I hope that she gets that cuddle too. She needs it. 🙂

  8. This story was so touching and I can’t begin to imagine not being able my little one who was born at 9.1.11 My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I just made a donation to that wonderful site in hopes that it can help ease the pain and give some comfort. much love.

  9. This story was so touching and I can't begin to imagine not being able my little one who was born at 9.1.11 My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I just made a donation to that wonderful site in hopes that it can help ease the pain and give some comfort. much love.

  10. Omg… I just reread this and noticed you said YOU lost a little one. I'm so sorry for your loss. 🙁

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